Friday, April 8, 2011

Another loss

It has been an emotionally hard year here at work. First, in October, the boy who lost his battle with cancer. Then, in December, the two kids who were so seriously hurt in that car accident. Then yesterday, we lost a boy who took his own life.

I am numb. I love working at such a small university because I feel like I know, or at least know of, everyone. But then, when tragedy strikes, it isn't the anonymous kind that you hear on the news and shake your head and forget about the next day, but rather the paralyzing ache that lingers long after with sharp pangs that resurface from a photo or an event or something someone says. And while these college students think they are grown, to me, they are still children and I hate to see them suffer, hate to see them hurt. My first thought upon waking this morning was that I could go upstairs and hug my children, but that this boy's parents would never be able to do that again. Being a parent is the most frightening thing I have ever done; my children bring me such joy, but there is the potential for such inconceivable heartbreak.

Mark, I hope you are in a happier place. You will be missed.


Judi said...

I work with six of his brothers, three our employees and three library staff workers. It's so sad to hear the news.

Rachel said...

Oh, Erin. That is so sad. I know personally the heartbreak of a suicide survivor as that is how my sister died. The pain never goes away (it's been almost 21 years for us). My heart goes out to Mark's family, and to you also.

Hazel said...

So sad , I also know the hearth break personally ,prayers going out for the family and also for you who puts on a brave face and goes into work each morning to work with these these young adults ,there so lucky to have you , just a smile or a pat on the back can have such a impact .

Kim said...

Life is not easy is it? My children are in their 30's and I still feel
that fear...and now it extends to my grandchild.I don't think it ever ends if you are a parent.
All you can do is pray and love them with all your might.

Happy Spring and Happy sewing

Shirleymac said...

So sad Erin. I believe in an afterlife which does tend to make things a bit easier but it doesn't stop the pain of those of us left behind.

I've had a lot of losses in my family and they all hurt - even though they were from natural causes; but when I hear of younger people losing their lives I am always so sad. Now that you mention it I realize my dad died at age 55 which was old when I was 13 but now as I approach 60 I realize how young that was. His mother never got over it.

Nancy said...

It is always so hard to cope with someone taking their own life, especially someone so young. What is it they say - "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." So many people around him will feel that if only they had done or said something maybe it would have helped. We'll never know if it would have, but perhaps it will make is all remember that feeling and reach out to someone else who may also be hurting more than we know. So sad.